Shitty Shoes and Shirts

The original purpose of this blog was to hate on stupid shoes and other dumb/retarded/ridiculous/embarrassing items of clothing that people choose to wear. It's kind of veered off course, but now I think I'm going to post things I hate at least once a week.

"Hey, Hey! Take a photo of me real quick! Hold up, lemme set this map down first. Okay... I've been wanting to show of these new pants I got. You see? They zip off so when I want shorts, I've GOT shorts! It's so hot out, I didn't even realize it was going to be this hot out. This is definitely going to be my new default pic on myspace..."

Zip off pants are completely unnecessary. In what situation would you find yourself in where you needed to change from pants to shorts, or vice versa? You should have just worn shorts if you knew it was going to be hot out. I will admit, I had a pair of zip off pants when I was like 13, but I was still practically getting dressed by my mom, not unlike many jocks that go to college at CU in Boulder, who still look like they couldn't give two shits as to what they put on before they walk out of their frat.

Side rant: I don't think I've mentioned this before, but maybe I have, but the main thing I hate about not living on either coast (the east coast more so, because let's be frank, LA sucks. But that's another post...) is that douche bags out here in Colorado dress like douche bags. On the east coast a lot of people work really hard just to pay for things like nice clothes so they at least look like they're someone special or wealthy. Some Guido dude, no matter how orange his skin or how spiked up his hair may be, will still look waaayyyy (the extra letters are for emphasis) better when he goes out to the bar than some jock in Denver who is wearing a bent baseball cap and something from Hollister or AE or whatever other store at the mall that they shop at. People (by people I mean douches, because saying, "people" we be a gross over-generalization) seem to care about their appearance more out on the east coast than people in Colorado. Whatever though, this is just like, my opinion.

So back to the topic of zip off pants. I think that the reason moms by these pants for their children, be they in middle school or college, is because people in general like to feel like they're getting a good deal. Two for the price of one type shit. People love that kind of stuff, especially something like these pants below...

Described by the website that sells these pants as:

Cool Cotton

2 Front Slant Pockets

Leg Cargo Pockets

Fully Adjustable Waist & Leg Bottoms

Zip Off Sections To Convert To 'Bermuda Style' or 'Short Shorts'

Completely Retarded Looking

So I added that last one, but let's actually look at these pant/short short/capri-hybrid-mindfuck pants for a minute. Okay, now let's erase this image and the memories of why the late-90's/early 2000's sucked out of our minds. If you're reading this blog and thinking that those pants look in any way acceptable to wear in public, you are reading the wrong blog and should probably reevaluate your taste in pant/short short/capri-hybrid zip off pants, because I would have definitely bought the one with the extra mesh cargo pockets in between capri section and the pant section!

Being me, I just saw There Will Be Blood last weekend and while watching it, thought to myself, "Daniel Plainview is rad!" Probably one of the best quotes (besides when he makes Eli denounce God) in the movie, is when he is talking to his brother one night:

"I have a competition in me. I want no one else to suceed. I hate most people . . . There are times when I look at people, and i see nothing worth liking . . . I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little . . ."

rad italo disco song by kano that involves a sleeveless sweatsuit